There's something about a new year that brings about feelings of nostalgia and hope all at the same time. As fireworks ring off in the distance and the chatter of my husband and son behind me, I can't help but to feel good. Like tears in my eyes good. This all in spite of a really good year that I didn't have. Confused? Let me explain.
This year has been well, meh.
For starters, for those who haven't been with me since the beginning and blog changes and focuses, earlier this year I stated I was going to get my life together and lose the 20+ pounds I'd gained since I began and then later quit my "career" as a personal trainer. Guess what? I'm still rocking that same 20 minus about 3 of its cousins. Try as I might (I really didn't) the pounds didn't go away because I didn't haul my ass to the gym as required for this sort of thing. And it wasn't like I didn't have the time. After I started my new job that had normal hours I found myself curled up on my favorite corner of the couch hacking away at the laptop “crafting” (more like planning but never really following through most times) great content. This occurred roughly about three maybe four but we're just going to say mostly four days out of the work week. So my goal of looking svelte before of my besties’s beachside nuptials didn't exactly come to fruition. Why? Because of one simple fact. I just didn't feel like it. I'm just being honest. It was just nice to come home for a change and not have to worry about plans, quotas, sales goals, etc. My time was my time once again and I just wanted to wallow it. Get real comfortable with it and never move again. But we all know that feeling can only last for so long before reality sets in again, the pounds are still there and you're still no where closer to achieving ANYTHING.
Then there's the natural skincare line I was supposed to launch months ago but had finally decided to get my act right and launch it at Thanksgiving. Ha! Yeah that didn't happen either. Go ahead and read more about that here.
Man, look, this year has been a year of the should've, would've could've of and down right I ain't doing shit! And guess what? Not only am I paying for it, I know have no one else to blame but myself. And that's just real.
Accomplishing a goal is more than mere talk friends. It's real work and action every single damn day. If you want that ish, you better do more than just dream and write about it.
This year I have so many goals I've set before me and none it will magically appear if I don't start moving scared. Yes I am afraid. Very afraid. Afraid of the judgement. Afraid of the non supportives. But more than anything I'm afraid of the success. More specifically afraid of achieving success too late in life. I'm thirty freaking five and I ain't done real shit with my life. Yeah I'm married and have a wild child but what accomplishments can I personally mark under my belt? I'm honestly not trying to spend this next year or the rest of my life for that matter working some basic ass job only dreaming about the life I want. I want to freaking live it!!
While 2016 has officially made its entrance since the beginning of this post, I'm actually going to get all cliche and say this is my year. It's all in or sit down, shut up and take the pittance handed to me every two weeks for showing up for helping someone else make money.
It's sink or swim time and I'm not about drowning.