What is self care? I know you've heard this term over and over again from the blogs, Twitter, Periscope or some other avenue. Well what is it? It's just that. Self care. Taking the time to take care of one’s self. It may sound simplistic but trust me it is equivalent to the golden unicorn. You’ve heard about it but you’ve never really seen it. As a woman,but especially as a wife and mom, we often neglect that aspect of ourselves on a pretty regular basis. We run ourselves ragged trying to be everything to everybody while we try pursue something greater for ourselves until we’re running on empty. Sound familiar? So you know you have to stop that right? Seriously. Like today, stop. Not tomorrow. Today. Got it? Ok. Now that we have that out the way. Here’s what you need to do: enact operation self preservation starting now. I know, I know, you’re asking what is self preservation because it sounds like you’re trying to transform yourself into a live mummy. Kind of sort of but not really. Let me explain.
Self preservation is not losing the core of who you are (being emotionally, mentally, physically and even spiritually in check) while in the pursuit of goals and navigating everyday life. Go ahead reread that. Let it sink in. It sounds a bit self serving to some and to some degree it is. You are purposely pulling yourself away from those around you so that you can recharge and replenish the energy that you give daily so you can give it once more. We are constant givers. That is life. But we should have and deserve to take when needed as well. Ok so how you enact this? Good question. By simply following these three principles.
Say “No.” No is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation on your behalf unless you choose to do so. No can be said to anyone including yourself when you get the “bright” idea to add one more thing to an already overflowing plate. By saying no, you began to relieve yourself of added pressure and stress which can be very detrimental to your health (tension headaches, weight loss/weight gain, sleeplessness, etc.) I know this will be hard because you may feel as if you’ve neglecting or letting down some of the people in your life. Let me rest assure you, number one, you’re not. Second, when they see the extra pep in your step and how calm and rested you are because of the little extra time for yourself that recent no will be a thing of the past. Your kids don’t need to do every activity under the sun. You don’t need to volunteer for every extra project at work. You will survive. They will survive. You will be emotionally, physically and mentally better for it.
Asking for help. Look as much as we try to play the role of superwoman, we can not do it all at all times. Yes sometimes we are forced to given situations but that should be the exception and not the norm. Before NOT when our plates run over, ask for help. Don't get in your feelings (being prideful or even embarrassed) that you need help. Even some of the most powerful people ask for help . Why? Because they would not have been able to get to where they are if they had tried to do everything themselves. They would have burned out and probably given up. Hell some of them probably did until they began to utter those four magical words, “Will you help me?” There are trusted people in your life who would be more than happy to help you but they simply don't know you need it or feel it's not wanted. You give off the air that you got it. But in reality you don't and you're struggling. Hard. Wouldn't you like a little more sleep? More time to do something for yourself? Simply a little time to do Ab-so-lute-ly NOThING!? Girl you better ask somebody!
Accepting help when it's offered. Ok now this one is actually harder for me than asking. How do? I'm too dang particular on how an action should be carried out. When my husband has offered to take over a task I would normally do, I have to turn a “blind eye” because he doesn't do it exactly how I do it and it grinds my gears. But guess what? It's done and now I have time for more important things like creating amazing content and products for my online natural skincare boutique. Oh, you didn't know about that? Most people didn't either. Here's why.
Understand this ladies, you don’t have to do it all.Man look, while you could probably spend your life tending to the needs of others all day every day, the reality is at some point, you will break. The body can only do so much before it will FORCE you to take several seats and a bed if needed. I know sometimes you won’t always stay the course because that’s just life. But I would hope that you would take time more often than not to care for yourself, respect your boundaries and rest easy knowing that being good to you is also being good to those around you.