The Dream Is Real. But Is It Yours?

I wrote this for my blog a while back that I will be deactivating soon, to further focus on what the hubs and I are trying to build here as well as my business I am slowly crafting to nurture the skin we're in.

What's real life right now is that I'm almost 35, with a management position in a clerical job for mere dollars an hour. 

I've berated myself on a number of days about the lack of progress I've made in realizing the vision I have for myself.  While it doesn't change my situation.  It does somehow fuel me to move forward, even if the steps are small.  Sometimes though, out of sheer desperation, you get to a point in your life where you just start latching on to any idea that will allow you to make the money you need to live the way you desire. 

I guess that's why I thought I should join the hundreds and maybe even thousands of bloggers who have made a very comfortable living monetizing their knowledge, skills and expertise because I wanted what they had: the ability to make thousands of dollars each month from the products they created and sold to people who clung to their every word.  

So I tried to become one of them and shifted my focus from creating skin care products that I had carefully researched and formulated time and time again because it had to meet the needs of my customer to being an infopreneur.

I've had nearly ten years experience of working with small business owners learning the ins and outs of how they do business, seeing what worked and what didn't. I also had a knack for creating processes and systems that allowed for efficiency within their business.  Surely, there was a place for me to help other small businesses in some aspect doing the same for them.

My nights and even some lunches began being spent crafting worksheets, checklists and e-books for my would be students. I signed up for multiple workshops, challenges and emails from my favorite bloggers in hopes of learning enough to do to be able to do what they do and do it well.

Then last night, while creating more notes, I just stopped. This wasn't me.  It never was.

I was so bent on chasing the money, that I was willing to force a dream that wasn't mine from the start.  Now I've lost countless hours trying to create a business on what I know and do but not one that I loved.

I am a creative. Just maybe not in that sense.  I've known that for awhile but I've simply continued to deny who I am, who I aught to be.

I"m the girl who loves to look at and create pretty things.  I love the rush of buying beads to create jewelry designs I see in my mind. I get excited when I know I have a new shipment of ingredients waiting on my doorsteps with which to create formulations of body products.  This is who I am.  This is what I do.  This is what I love.

At some point you have to recognize, that while you may be trying to get to the same place as the next person, how you get there is your journey alone.  

Don't waste precious moments dreaming someone's dream.  Wake up and turn yours into reality.