How do you talk with a spouse who sees everything differently than you do?
How do you deal with a spouse who sees everything differently than you do? It's the exact same situation. The exact same life, yet you two are coming from the opposite ends of the planet rather than the from under the same roof. Shit's crazy. Every family has to be something like this. Some level of crazy is in everyone's house, right?
I saw a movie on Netflix the other day where the main characters attempt to spice of their mundane lives by living as people more exciting than themselves. The male character drives home to visit his father in the suburban neighborhood they grew up in to ask his father if anything messed up happened to him as a child such as an uncle who became too friendly one year perhaps. His father asks him back, why did anything need to be wrong with his childhood? In essence the movie was about correcting the perils of having a good life.
I think my wife is suffering the same fate. Her perspective is of course totally different than mine, and she has a right to see it from her point of view.
The problem is that there's simply no middle ground. No where we can meet in the middle and build understanding from that common point. We don't have to agree, but we should at least be able to see where the other one is coming from. But when you can't do that, what are you supposed to do then?
If you came to this post for answers, I apologize. I don't have shit for you. I have nothing but questions. After 10 years. Questions on questions on questions.
The great thing is that we're still talking enough to one another that we're aware there's a problem. That's huge in my book. Most people simply stop communicating on any relevant level so each other's lives are left up to each person's individual interpretation. And if you're not communicating with your spouse on a regular basis, I guarantee you you're both interpreting your lives totally differently.
The only real option is to keep talking. We may eventually agree to disagree. It seems we already do. But maybe we talk ourselves into a solution or worldview that works for both of us.
Maybe that what hope sounds like.
Hope is such a dangerous thing. Only the powerful are dangerous.
Clearly, I have no idea what to say.