What happened during our first day of marriage therapy

A little less than a month ago, during an weekend visit to my parent’s home in San Antonio, my wife said we needed to visit a marriage counselor if we wanted to make it to 15 years of marital bliss. I booked a therapist in my area using PsychologyToday to narrow our options within a close radius of our home.

Today was our first session.

The office was small, with a two-seat couch across from a large brown comfortable recliner for our therapist.

Our therapist was welcoming as she informed us of her own 34 years of marital experience under her belt. She finally asked us why we were there.
I looked directly at my wife, sitting on the far opposite side of our two-seater.

She finally answered that as a couple we needed to work on our communication with one another. As our hour session quickly went by, we quickly touched on a number of subjects including household chores, the parental needs of two young kids in the house, feelings of unilateral unappreciation, The 5 Love Languages, feelings of being unwanted, feelings of rejection and being deprioritized, sex, intimacy and more.

It was over in a snap, because as a couple we were ready to talk. And I believe we were ready to talk because we have the same goal - a stronger marriage.

We simply disagree on how to get there. Or even how we define what a stronger marriage means to the both of us. Or perhaps if it’s even possible to get there.

Close to the end of our hour, our therapist said she hears multiple layers of issues happening in our lives, and that they’re all interconnected in many ways. She wanted to send us some YouTube videos to watch and said during our next appointment, we would discuss some next steps she would like to us take.

My wife and I cordially split after our hour session - me back to work, and her to pick up the kids. Her and I still haven’t asked one another about our first impression of the therapist or how we feel the first session went. We’ve spent the afternoon under the routine thumb of parenthood.

I look forward to asking her tonight when we can focus on one another’s answers.

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