The hubs and I finally came to the ultimate decision together.  Baby number two is happening.  For our friends who are reading this, your eyes are not playing tricks on you.  Those words are here and they are out in the world which makes it real.  But still not real enough until I see a positive sign on an EPT.  This decision is 4 years in the making and honestly I still can’t believe we’re here.  Our little person will be turning 4 in two weeks and we feel it’s now or never.  I mean I said on more than one occasion that I didn’t want kids after 35 which I will be in December and that the “factory” was shutting down after that time.  But as you can see, I’m now singing a different tune.  Parenting is a beast that many of us are never really prepared to embrace. Upon the arrival of your first child, you are thrown into this unknown world of sleepless nights, worry, self doubt and even fear.  While most of those things disappear or at least diminish over time, they’ll eventually be replaced with confidence, courage and a love that knows no bounds.  It gets better.  It just takes time.  Its any wonder people (us) would choose to do it again. But that’s exactly what we’re doing and I’ve had a few realizations about this new chapter in our lives.  

Realization #1

You can most certainly have too much of a good thing.  Sooooo…..this might get a little TMI so brace yourselves dearies.  On our quest to conceive, the hubs and I decided that to give ourselves a better chance of hitting the jackpot, that we would  do the “do” every single day from a couple of days before my estimated ovulation up until he left for his business trip on Sunday.  I’ve never tracked Aunt Flo, because I personally hate her.  But as long as she showed up, I guess things were cool on the inside. I had been using an IUD as birth control since a few weeks after our son’s birth.  With it being hormone free, unlike birth control pills, my cycle was exactly regulated to a 28 days cycle.  As I mentioned earlier because I had only an inkling as to  when ovulation would occur, we had prescribed ourselves 10 CONSECUTIVE days of sex.  I know some of you are like what!? That’s great!  Let me tell you.  No. Just no.  Now don’t get me wrong, we enjoyed ourselves because there were some passionate nights.  BUT, there were the nights it was like just another thing to add to our to do list.  Sex for fun and the pure enjoyment of your spouse is one thing but when it becomes more of a have to instead of a want to, it kind of takes the fun out of it.  Even the hubs had to agree.  When he came back from his trip he said he definitely learned, he doesn’t need it everyday.  Ditto my friend….ditto.

Realization #2

I actually WANT to have another little person.  I know probably thinking isn’t that the main, yet mostly one reason anyone would have a child?  Well yes and no.  You see, my husband and I both have siblings but our childhood experienced with them varied greatly.  While I basically grew up as an only child because my sister returned to Mississippi to live with her father shortly after our mom and our stepfather were married because they didn’t quite get along.  My husband on the other hand, despite the challenges his father faced relationship wise, had a big brother who took his role seriously and did all the typical things that older siblings do to torture their younger counterparts up until he left for the army.  But the brotherly bond didn’t stop there.  It has and is so much more.  I’ve been privy to have an inside view of it over the years and that’s something I want for our son. Shoot!  It’s still something I want for myself.  While my sister and I can have adult conversations about life and relationships, we still haven’t figured out how to have a consistent one with each other.  It’s awkward at best.  It makes me nervous to initiate a phone call.  On the flip side, whenever my husband and his brother reunite after a period of not having seen each for a while, they do this little dance that’s theirs and theirs alone.  its so cute and pretty hilarious all at the same time.  The hubs and I both realize that it could easily turn out that our son and his future sibling could really hate each other but seeing the sibling relationships among our friends there is strong hope that they won’t.  Besides as parents, we would try our best to instill in them a love and appreciation for each other coupled with a little prayer.  They’ll be fine.

Realization #3

We could very well be making a huge mistake.  For the past 3, now soon to be 4 years, our son has brought us so much joy and laughter as well as taught on some life lessons about ourselves and relationship with each other.  While it has definitely been challenging at times, our family of three is easy.  We’ve always had the help of our family and friends that allowed us to still be us by providing opportunities for dates nights and getaways to reconnect with one another and relax.  There have even been times where he have provided those opportunities for each other. The hubs had done trips with the fellas and I with the girls.  I’ve even had weekends alone.  I had my first solo trip as an adult to the city we now call home a few years ago and it was great.  It was a milestone for me both physically and mentally.  I came back refreshed and happy to see my people.  Then there’s the fact that my son is able to do sooooooo much for himself at this age it will be hard going back to a tiny, helpless individual whose only way to make his/her demands known is to scream and cry until they’ve been met. At. Any. Time. Of. The. Day. Or. Night.  Then there’s the whole potty training all over again. Our son was number one trained a week before turning two and fully at two and half.  It was a breeze.  This time around maybe not so much.  He woke up laughing, cooing or talking to himself, rarely with a scream or cry.  He was never clingy and is very independent. All things considered, he has spoiled us.  We don’t how we’ll cope if the next child the complete opposite and far more challenging.  I mean we’ll do it but you know what I mean.  It will be rough.  But let’s not forget the financial aspect. I don’t plan on going back to work after this one. I’m done.  But financially speaking we are in a different place than we were a few years ago.  While my husband’s job allows for a better quality of life, it also came at a price, one that we both agreed to of course.  It just makes things a little difficult and my desire and need to have my business not only up and running but profitable within a year.  It’s not impossible but the pressure is definitely there. So there it is folks.  The Washington expansion is happening.  We don’t know when, hopefully sooner than later.  It’s scary.  It’s exciting. It’s challenging. The ish is real.  But more importantly,  I’m happy.  No matter how it turns out, this new chapter will have molded us a little more into better people, spouses and parents. Now where’s the baby oil?